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Micah Hesse
schrieb am 28. Oktober 2024 um 22.11 Uhr

My relationship with Kristian was a complicated one. He was a huge influence on my life, on who I wanted to be. I remember he seemed to have a pervasive cynicism in the time that I knew him, yet curiously tinged with innocence in some ways. My main memory of him was eating lunch together when we were in the fifth or six class. He would perform "surgeries" on goldfish. Silly, but also tinged with suffering. His life was simply different, harder, than almost everybody around him, and I think that came with pain. I left for a year in the states, and when I came back, he had changed. Physically, he had lost one eye, and was clearly struggling. At the same time, emotionally, that outward cynicism was mostly gone. He was calmer, quieter, and seemed less bitter. I wish that I had been mature enough to talk to him about anything serious, and didn't just pretend that everything was normal, and that I knew how to relate with him in that time. I also wish I had kept up communication with him after I graduated, instead of putting it off, knowing in my heart that as a result I maybe wouldn't be able to talk to him again.